The Man Is Trying To Kill Us.

Is that a bear skin rug? And come and get me eyes? AND skin? Good Lord. I might be hyperventilating. I might, in fact, be dead from his hotness. Is that possible?

Thanks for the image Confessions of a Twicrack Addict! Thank you soooo much.

Sweeeeet! And, HOT.

It's been a crappy week. Things keep going wrong. Very wrong. But then, I walk into my local Walgreens and once again they come out victorious. Because, although it's not suppose to be out until Friday, this was out on stands:

I grabbed two copies (one for me and one for QP). Might I add, the ONLY two copies. And as I did my happy dance, thanked my lucky stars that Walgreens workers have no concept of correct dates for magazine releases, and assured the cashier, that yes, I did know I had two copies of the magazine, I realized that no matter how bad a week is, hottie pics of Robert Pattinson can makes things a little brighter.

~SW

Thud.

Breathe, ladies, breathe.

Source: Twilighters Anonyomous

Why No, I Wouldn't Kick You Out Of Bed.

I have no idea when this scene from New Moon takes place (dream scequence, perhaps?). And frankly, I do not care. Slightly lightheaded with anticipation...and daydreams dancing in my head...
See more at the LA Times.

Excuses and Such

An apology from the Wives:

Sorry folks (all 3 of you!). We know, our posts are few and far between as of late. Life is crazy. Most of us are Army wives, and lets just say it's not good times these days. We're trying to be good little wifeys and that cuts into bloggy time. And school started. One of us is a teacher, two of us have little monsters that now need our help getting ready in the morning to make it there (the things kids expect of you). Between deadlines and school and work, we are ignoring our blog (but at least SP and SW are still getting in quality fanfic reading time). Combined all that with a serious case of bloggy block on all fronts and, well, you get this. Very few posts and a drop in our rating as Top Twilight blog spot (not that we were ever very high, mind you). Sniffle, tear.

Not to worry! We promise, more blogs to come soon. We do have some adventures from this summer with the Tinys that need still to be posted, and with New Moon only 76 days away, we should have plenty to write about. Because, seriously people, we can only hold back from this affair for so long. Twilight always gets us to come back for more, even if it is wrong. Sorry DHs. wink wink.

We'll leave you with this:

Forgive us? Come back and read us soon? Okaythanksbye.

Saturday Sparklers

In case you missed them:

The Twitards are drowning in Edwards, Mini and not so Mini.

TwiSessed reviews Twilight (the movie ) and converts a Team Jacob member (maybe there's hope for my former friend.)

Cutie from Super Secret Twilight Blog guest posted for Tasha (one of our absolute favorites here at TwidiculousWives) over at Something Less Productive, and let me tell you: hi-lar-i-ous. And may just make you, ahem, notice Emmett. And his dimples. *swoon*

And it's come to my attention that not everyone has read Wide Awake (cough, QP, cough). The best f'ing piece of fanfic ever. Go. Read. Or we maybe can't be friends anymore.

And what's this? A little celebrity stalking never hurt anyone. Check out what Moon over at Letter's to Twilight saw....

The Betrayal

My best friend, who we'll call Birdy here, and I have always traded book recommendations back and forth. So, obviously, after I had devoured the Twilight Saga, I immediately told her she needed to read it. She had no desire. She thought I was crazy. She refused, repeatedly. But I was persistent. I recruited our other friend, who'll be known as Bunny, who is also a twicrazy, and we started in on her. A typical conversation:

"You'll love it. It's an epic romance!"

"It's about vampires. What's romantic about that?"

"Gah! Sexy vampires! You don't understand, this is the best love story EVER."

"Ever? I highly doubt that. It's a book written for teenagers."

"You don't know what you're talking about. And how have you not seen this movie? Have you seen a picture of Robert Pattinson?"

"Who?"

"Oh my GOD!"

But finally, finally, we have worn her down. Last week, she started the books. She flew through Twilight and even admitted that it was really good. I started imagining long, meaningful conversations between the two of us about our love of Robert Pattinson and what it would be like to live like a Cullen. Perhaps she could meet the Tinys. Bunny immediately loaned her New Moon to read. And that's where my trouble began.

I never thought that this would happen to me. I've heard about this happening to other people, but it certainly wouldn't, couldn't happen to me. But it has. And I just don't know what to do.

Birdy is on Team Jacob.

I tried to explain to her that Edward was way superior. I pointed out that he sparkles, that he loves Bella in a way beyond soul mates, that he doesn't turn into an animal, that he's sexyhot. She didn't buy it. Jacob is so nice, she says. He just wants to save Bella's life, she says. He's human and so cute, she says.

Just say NO to werewolves.

And then this, with disapproval in her voice: "Edward's a vampire. He's too fancy (fancy?!). He wants to eat her. He's going to have to change her."

And this is a bad thing? I was waiting for that shit from the ballet studio on!

And then the worst part of all: "I don't know if I should finish these books. If she doesn't end up with Jacob, I'll be disappointed. Can we still be friends?"

No. No. NO. Someone kill me.

Bunny is doing her best (note: Birdy and Bunny live in a different state then me). She's taking the movie over to Birdy's house this weekend to show her the benefits of Robward. Surely this will sway her? How could she resist Robward? She can't, right?

Don't worry SW, I'll take care of this.

I don't know that I can get past this. I mean, seriously, were we reading the same book? Did she have her nose in some special edition Jacob-is-alright version? Because I cannot fathom how anyone could be Team Jacob when Edward is around. I must destroy her and her Team Jacob nonsense....

Rob Leads The Way

This summer, QP and I have been traveling all over fucking creation. Luckily, we have a little helper to guide us on our many trips:

Note: I kinda suck at taking pictures in a moving car.

This GPS is officially called a Tom Tom, but QP and I decided it needed a real name. Like Rob.

Who doesn't want to take a ride with him?

After searching through the many confusing options on this thing, we found that we could change the voice on it, the voice that says things like "In three miles, turn left." And-jackpot-we found a male voice with an English accent. Score. Now Rob can tell us things like, "Stay on the motorway," and "In three hundred meters, turn right." Sexy, right? Like he's guiding us where he wants us to go (wink wink). Neither us actually has any idea how far a meter is, but whatever. GPS Rob can tell us what to do and where to go all damn day in his sexy accent.

The problem is, sometimes, Rob doesn't know what the hell he is talking about. Like when we're on the freeway and he keeps trying to get us to take the scary-ass back roads because the 1/2 a meter shorter then the freeway. Maybe he's drunk. That's when Tiny E steps in. He's the responsible one of the two.

Oh, Wives, let me assist you in your travels.

Because a little plastic action figure totally knows how to get us somewhere when an expensive English accented GPS can't. You understand.

~SW

For Your Viewing Pleasure.

Seriously, the man should not be this good looking. It's not healthy, since I stop breathing when I look at him.

~SW

Meet Riley!

<------Supposedly, this is the guy who's going to play Victoria's bitch in the movie version of Eclipse.

He's Australian, he's of legal age (24), and his name is Xavier Samuel. Not exactly bad looking, but he's no Robward.

I have to admit, he looks pretty near to what I pictured Riley to look like. Although I admit I was excited about the Channing Tatum as Riley rumors.

Thoughts?

Yeah, this one's waaay hotter. ------------->

(Sorry couldn't resist the wet Rob photo. Really. Couldn't. Resist.)

~SW

Mmmmm....

I saw this picture earlier this week, but was waiting to post it until I could write something coherent. Because, this photo gets me all flushed. And takes away the ability to think clearly.

Hmm? What was I saying? Was I typing something? Feeling a bit flushed...must lay down. Or go read some smutty Twilight fan fiction.

~SW

Image via: New Moon Movie.

I'm The Lucky One!

Why so lucky you ask? Because the Walgreen's store close to me put out The Sexy Stars of Twilight a day early and I now own a copy! That's right, in my house, as we speak, there are oodles of pictures of Robert Pattinson, including pull out posters! SCORE!
How did this happen you ask? Well, I originally went to Walgreen's to pick up some photos I had ordered. As I cruised down the aisle that houses magazines, I just looked them over briefly. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw a magazine with a pic of Rob on the front and thought, briefly to myself, "That pic looks like the one that's going to be on The Sexy Stars of Twilight." But, since it's not suppose to come out until tomorrow, I didn't give it a second glance, not wanting to drop so low that I was checking out Teen Beat magazines. As I continued walking down the aisle, two teenage girls flew around the corner and glued themselves to the magazines. Suddenly, I knew what I had just let slip through my fingers. I turned and saw them reach and pick up the magazine I had looked over. Then I heard it: the sound of a squeal that could only mean someone just saw a gorgeous picture of Robert Pattinson. It couldn't be! It was!

THE SEXY STARS OF TWILIGHT WAS IN MY REACH AND I LET IT SLIP INTO THE HANDS OF 14 YEAR OLDS!

I debated running up to them, ripping it out of their little teenage hands and running to the check out counter. But, I looked down at my child, who was with me at the store, and decided not to give that kind of example. All I need is for my kid to be in therapy in 20 years saying things like, "Mama loved Twilight more then me!"
So, I had no other choice but to cruise the store and see if The Sexy Stars Of Twilight was also up front with the weekly magazines. I looked through the racks as calmly as I could, but to no avail. I braced myself for a fight with teenagers, because there was no way I was leaving the store without that magazine. I walked up to them, making calculations of how I could snatch it, when suddenly I saw it, shining out of the magazine rack like a beacon: One. More. Copy. I grabbed that sucker and the teenage girls beamed huge braces-filled smiles at me.
"It's here! I'm totally getting it!" one of them squealed.
"Me too!" I squealed in response. Little did they know how close then came to getting knocked down.
After paying $10 for a magazine full of posters of actors under 25, I raced to the car and immediately called SP.
"Prepare yourself to be jealous."
"WHAT?" she said (she knew it had to be about Twilight, as we rarely talk about anything else these days).
"I have in my possession....The Sexy Stars of Twilight."
"Sqeeeeal!"
After giving her the details, she immediately got off the phone to cruise her local stores for a copy of her own. Next I called QP. She called her close by Walgreen's and made a poor man walk around the store looking for it. But only my Walgreen's seems unable to read a calender and realize that this piece of twitasticness is not suppose to be out until tomorrow. QP called back in defeat.
"I'm coming over. I need to see it TODAY." she said.

Oh, I am the lucky one.

~SW

Where will YOU be on June 26th?

**WARNING: Exciting news to follow.

Please attempt to control your emotions to avoid looking "twidiculous"**

I can tell you where I'll be on Friday...standing in line to purchase my copy of "The Sexy Stars of Twilight"! Yes, this is a special-edition magazine being published by US Weekly Magazine. It is scheduled for release on Friday, June 26th. Here's the description from Barnes and Noble:

"This special, limited-edition magazine is packed with photos of the Twilight movie stars Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart, and features behind-the-scenes info on the filming of the sequel -- New Moon. Seven pull-out posters make it a
must for any Twilight fan! "

**Ok, I give you permission to scream
and jump up and down with excitement **

Will it be embarrassing to buy the magazine, being that we are married, mature, adult women? Maybe a little. But it's so going to be worth it! You can't tell me you don't want one of these babies! I am dying to get a copy! Let me tell you, I rarely buy any magazine...and when I do, it is NEVER a celebrity gossip mag. (Ok, ok, there was that one copy of Teen Beat that I bought when I was 13 years old because it had a photo of Devon Sawa in it!) Anyway, this is a whole magazine devoted to our favorite subject! (If you would like to see a few pages from inside the magazine, including the Table of Contents, just look on the Barnes and Noble website.)

See you in line! (I'll be the woman in her mid-twenties wearing sunglasses and a hat, surrounded by squealing teenagers. )

-SP

RPattz Under Attack!

Our very own Robert Pattinson was mobbed by a few crazy fans today while trying to film in NYC! You can find more detailed info and additional pictures, as well as a link to the video at ROBsessed.


Poor Rob...if you're going to get groped by someone, at least you would hope it's a hot girl! Instead, he gets these three chicks:

I mean, how old do you think they are?? The Blue one looks trashy, like a middle-age woman who still tries to buy her clothes in the Juniors section. I'm glad the body guard pinched her! (Don't you think that's what it looks like he's doing?)

Take a look at the next pic...Plaid Chick jumps on Rob's back!

...And he continues to try to smile during the whole thing. Because he's a perfect gentleman!

How irritating! Have these women no respect?? I'm embarrassed for them. Ugh.

...And of course, totally jealous! **Sigh**

-SP

Sinful.

I am happily married. I am happily married. I am happily married.

Good GOD he is good looking.

~SW

Photo by: savygirl84

The Best 53 Seconds Ever.

My life just got a little brighter. Or should I say sparklier.

Did anyone else just die a little?

Video by VampWhoDoesntSparkle