The Betrayal

My best friend, who we'll call Birdy here, and I have always traded book recommendations back and forth. So, obviously, after I had devoured the Twilight Saga, I immediately told her she needed to read it. She had no desire. She thought I was crazy. She refused, repeatedly. But I was persistent. I recruited our other friend, who'll be known as Bunny, who is also a twicrazy, and we started in on her. A typical conversation:

"You'll love it. It's an epic romance!"

"It's about vampires. What's romantic about that?"

"Gah! Sexy vampires! You don't understand, this is the best love story EVER."

"Ever? I highly doubt that. It's a book written for teenagers."

"You don't know what you're talking about. And how have you not seen this movie? Have you seen a picture of Robert Pattinson?"

"Who?"

"Oh my GOD!"

But finally, finally, we have worn her down. Last week, she started the books. She flew through Twilight and even admitted that it was really good. I started imagining long, meaningful conversations between the two of us about our love of Robert Pattinson and what it would be like to live like a Cullen. Perhaps she could meet the Tinys. Bunny immediately loaned her New Moon to read. And that's where my trouble began.

I never thought that this would happen to me. I've heard about this happening to other people, but it certainly wouldn't, couldn't happen to me. But it has. And I just don't know what to do.

Birdy is on Team Jacob.

I tried to explain to her that Edward was way superior. I pointed out that he sparkles, that he loves Bella in a way beyond soul mates, that he doesn't turn into an animal, that he's sexyhot. She didn't buy it. Jacob is so nice, she says. He just wants to save Bella's life, she says. He's human and so cute, she says.

Just say NO to werewolves.

And then this, with disapproval in her voice: "Edward's a vampire. He's too fancy (fancy?!). He wants to eat her. He's going to have to change her."

And this is a bad thing? I was waiting for that shit from the ballet studio on!

And then the worst part of all: "I don't know if I should finish these books. If she doesn't end up with Jacob, I'll be disappointed. Can we still be friends?"

No. No. NO. Someone kill me.

Bunny is doing her best (note: Birdy and Bunny live in a different state then me). She's taking the movie over to Birdy's house this weekend to show her the benefits of Robward. Surely this will sway her? How could she resist Robward? She can't, right?

Don't worry SW, I'll take care of this.

I don't know that I can get past this. I mean, seriously, were we reading the same book? Did she have her nose in some special edition Jacob-is-alright version? Because I cannot fathom how anyone could be Team Jacob when Edward is around. I must destroy her and her Team Jacob nonsense....