Thursday, August 13, 2009

We're Just A Bit Slutty Here, And We're Not Ashamed

So, I've been noticing a trend lately in the Twilight blogesphere. Everybody's getting all pure on me. Suddenly, everyone wants to be a born-again Twi-Virgin. And I don't think I likey.

I mean don't get me wrong, I love me some Cutie, I basically worship the girls over at We Bite Pretty Hard, but ladies, how can you want to go all virgin about these people?

I would make out with each and everyone of you. Especially you on the left.

I understand what you're thinking. Really, I do. New Moon overload has been crazy. Trailers, leaked scenes and images, crazy cast sighting. It's all so much. It was so hard to pull yourself away. Maybe you feel that you've ruined your New Moon viewing pleasure by soiling yourself with twipeeks at all the shenanigans. Maybe you're thinking that you just want to watch Eclipse with a pure mind and be totally taken in by all the magic. That's to be commended. But, unfortunately, that's not how something like virginity works.

I hate to break it to you, but virginity? I think we all know there's no going back. It's one of those things that you just can't change. So maybe all the trailers, cast interviews, set stalking for New Moon is a bit like that guy you wished you'd never crawled into the backseat with after a couple of tequila shots junior year, but yeah. You can try and pretend that never happened when the cute innocent boy/third movie installment comes along, but it did. And deep down, you'll always just be a little slutty. Because virginity is something you can give away. But you ain't really getting it back.

So unless you're Cutie, in all your twivirgin white (we bow in respect for your true pureness), you might as well give it up and enjoy the Eclipse smut. Really, no one here will judge you. We are all quite comfortable in our twi-whore ways.



  1. Wow, so sorry to be so late in responding to this...was out of town! Only I am trying to avoid the spoilers...Bitches it well, trying to be a bitch and tempt me at every turn! It's a pretty horrible existence, but I just know that I'm going to enjoy New Moon, just a little more because I didn't watch the new trailer that came out today, hehe. And if not, then, hell, all bets are off for Eclipse come November.

  2. Got to back up FireCr0tch on this one. If I keep indulging in the spoilers, I'll have practically seen the entire movie before it comes out. I haven't seen a trailer/spoiler/interview since the first trailer, and I'm going completely spoiler free for Eclipse and Breaking Dawn. But I still have love for my spoiler slut sisters ;)

  3. @FC:I'd tell you to stay strong, but really I'm more of an enabler :).

    @flh: Bravo for your strenght! But I just can't help my slutty ways.

  4. I'm a total Twi-slut and SO proud of it!! Now if Robward would just care to take advantage of my sluttiness, I'd be one happy gal!


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