Twidiculous Wives

No Words For The Greatness.

2009-11-21T08:20:00.004-07:00

We have seen New Moon. And, wow. Just wow. There are no words for how happy it made us all. Detailed stories of our various adventures to come....right now we are just trying to recover from the awesomeness that is New Moon.

No More Spoilers and a Double Meme

2009-10-25T22:07:00.014-06:00

So here we are, checking out the blogs and wait a minute, whats this? We were tagged by Latchkey Wife for the Twilight Blog Meme! Blushing. Let's do it! SP and SW provide the answers:

1) What is the craziest/most stupid thing you've ever done (that you would be willing to share!)?
SW: There are a lot of crazy/stupid things I've done that I would not be willing to share (SP has witnessed some of them first hand). I, in fact, do stupid things all the time. But something crazy that I'd be willing to share...once while intoxicated, Mr.W's boss made a pass at me in front of Mr.W. So I slapped him and called him out in front of all his subordinates (Mr. W is in the military). Which might not sound so crazy, but in a military structure, when some little girlfriend slaps her boyfriend's boss and calls him a prick to his face in a loud voice, it silences the room. And then I got a round of applause.

SP: Ooh! Good one SW! I am a sad, boring person who really does nothing "crazy." I have to be pretty laid back because Mr. Swan is the one who gets into all sorts of shenanigans. So I'll have to rely on my ability to embarrass the shit out of myself. Which luckily, I am pretty good at most of the time. Like when SW and I went to a nice little cookie swap with a group of ladies. We didn't really know anyone (or each other), but we were attempting to mingle like good little military wives do. We're sitting in the living room, when a certain young lady begins talking about her plans for Christmas leave. She mentions that they're going to visit the in-laws and then looked at me and asked, "What are you doing?" Being the polite person that I am, I reciprocate with my own holiday plans. The girl looks at me with the weirdest face and says "I wasn't talking to YOU." It was then that we noticed she had a GOOGLY EYE. SW and I just looked at each other in shock and tried not to laugh. I was so embarrassed because of the whole situation, and SW and I later bonded over the moment. Yes, we are the kind of people who are heartless bitches and make fun of people behind their backs. To this day we still call her Googly Eyes...

So there you have it. I'm officially lame.

2) One my personal favorite games: Fuck, Marry, Kill. With the Twilight cast.

SW: Fuck: Jasper, Marry: Edward, Kill: Caius. Just to note, once I married Edward, I'd stop fucking Jasper. Promise. And Caius is just a prick. An evil prick. It was still hard to chose between him and Jessica Stanely though. And I figured that killing Jacob was just too easy. Plus, FC over at WeBitePrettyHard already took care of him for me.

SP: Well, I'll be a good friend and only Fuck: Edward and Marry: Jasper. I'll let SW fuck my hubby once if I can do hers once too. ;) (I have a thing for Jasper anyway...it's only grown worse since I started reading fanfic!) And I definitely need to kill Mike. Ugh!! He is such a dumb ass! I'll be happy to get rid of him. [Note: If for some reason Mr. White or Mr. Swan are reading this, I meant the husband sharing part ONLY in regards to Edward and Jasper. Thank you, that is all. ]

3) What is your favorite band/type of music?

SW: I have a lot of favorites, and they change on a regular basis. And I'm very eclectic. Current favorites: Dashboard Confessional, Death Cab For Cutie, Snow Patrol, The Strokes, The Radio Dept., and...Taylor Swift ( I don't care who you are, you want to sing along when that girl's songs come on the radio!).

SP: I'm an alternative rock kinda girl, though I like most kinds of music too. Of course I have to say that one of my long-time favorite bands is the All-American Rejects. Some of my other favs include The Used, Rise Against, Papa Roach, and (my newest) the Silversun Pickups.

4) What is your favorite movie besides Twilight?

SW: Since I can't just choose one, here are my top five: Pride and Prejudice (w/ Kiera Knightley), 3:10 to Yuma, The Royal Tenenbaums, Little Miss Sunshine, and Breakfast at Tiffany's.

SP: My favorite movie is also Pride and Prejudice. Ah, Mr. Darcy...he held my heart until Edward came along...

5) Do you RL life family/friends know you’re addicted to Twilight? A blogger?

SW: Well my husband knows about the blog and my obsession (he's not highly pleased about it, but he attempts to be a good sport). Most of my family knows that I like Twilight, but they have no idea about the blog, and I plan to keep that way. I swear a lot and talk about sex on this blog, all I need is for my MIL to find it. Shudder. Gag. As for friends, some of my friends are co-writers on the blog, but most of friends have no idea it exists. But I've given up on trying to hide how much I love the Twilight books/movie.

SP: Mr. Swan knows that I am passionate about Twilight (and constantly reading “my stories,” as he calls fanfic) but he doesn’t know that I blog about it! My best friends and my sisters pretty much have to bear the brunt of my obsessiveness and listen to me go on and on about all things Twilight.

6) How many hours a week do you spend doing Twi related things? You know, blogging, looking at pictures of the cast, reading fan fiction, etc.

SW: While I have been totally slacking on blog posts, I make time daily to check out fanfic and other people's blogs. Perhaps: 15-20 hours a week? Which is my low number. And that is just sad. Like, SP, I also need an IPhone.

SP: Well, I would say now that I’m working again (I’m a teacher) and also working on my masters, that I am only able to spend around 15 hours a week on my Twi-related activities. If only we had internet at work….MUST. GET. iPHONE!

7) Any random fact you might want to share. Big or small, it doesn't matter.

SW: For the past three years, I have asked for a copy of Mastering the Art of French Cooking for Christmas, and no one will get it for me.

SP: I am a total perfectionist, and I have a complex system for my calendar. Everything is color coded, and I have stickers to mark certain events. Oh and I have to have giant boxes to write in (lined of course, so that my writing isn't crooked). So, yeah....

PS, from SW: I also have my closet color coordinated. I know that SP does too.

We're tagging:

The Office
Lauren's Bite
A Caring Erratic Harebrained Mom
Edward to my Bella

Also, we won't be posting anymore spoilers until New Moon is out. Promise.

Summit Wants All of Twitarded's Merch For It's Own!

2009-10-18T08:00:00.009-06:00

This morning, I got on the computer, and did what I do most (okay, every) morning. I ran through my Twilight blog list to see what everyone is up to. And to my horror and great annoyance: this. Evidently, the girls over at Twitarded are having The Man come down on them. Seems to be that Summit Entertainment thinks they own Twitarded's personal images, to include the picture in their header and on all their merchandise. An image that was created by Snarky's Mr. Snarky. Does Summit also think they own everything with the word Twi in it? Because let me tell you something: the production company that decided to replace Rachelle Lafevre as Victoria doesn't own MY blog.

Twitarded holds a special place in my heart. They were the first Twilight-related blog I found that was more then just paparazzi clips and leaked movie info. JJ and STY introduced me to the world of smart, hilarious, non-teenager bloggers who are out there with an undying love for all things Twilight. And the fact that Summit would come down on such makers of joy, pissed me the fuck off.

Tiny E throws his hands up in disgust. He'd be giving the man the finger, but they don't pose. Trust, he's thinking about it though.

Perhaps Summit realizes the greatness that is JJ and STY. I just bet they are taking claim to all that merch and hording it for themselves. They are walking around their little production office with Twitarded buttons and drinking their coffee out of Twitarded mugs and have their keys attached to Twitarded key chains. Greedy mofos. What about the rest of us? Pay for it like everyone else, movie-making bitches! Those buttons only cost a $1.50!

And since they only cost $1.50, I say go now and get yours. Before they take them all away.

~SW

The Man Is Trying To Kill Us.

2009-10-16T18:52:00.004-06:00

Is that a bear skin rug? And come and get me eyes? AND skin? Good Lord. I might be hyperventilating. I might, in fact, be dead from his hotness. Is that possible?

Thanks for the image Confessions of a Twicrack Addict! Thank you soooo much.

Sweeeeet! And, HOT.

2009-10-14T10:35:00.004-06:00

It's been a crappy week. Things keep going wrong. Very wrong. But then, I walk into my local Walgreens and once again they come out victorious. Because, although it's not suppose to be out until Friday, this was out on stands:

I grabbed two copies (one for me and one for QP). Might I add, the ONLY two copies. And as I did my happy dance, thanked my lucky stars that Walgreens workers have no concept of correct dates for magazine releases, and assured the cashier, that yes, I did know I had two copies of the magazine, I realized that no matter how bad a week is, hottie pics of Robert Pattinson can makes things a little brighter.

~SW

Return of Saturday Sparklers!

2009-10-10T11:14:00.003-06:00

That's right all...the weekly shout-outs return!

I am in love. With Letters to Twilight. UC and Moon have some suggestions for the Twilight Saga cast memebers on how they can make some extra cash on the side.

Twitarded Googles all things Twilight related. Hilarity insues (Robert Pattinson a virgin? Bawh ha ha.)

Latchkey Wife debates how to come out of the Twicloset to her Mr. Latchkey. Let's hope he lets her continue blogging/live after he finds out how much she wants to have crazy wild sex with Robward. Now that I type that, I realize we haven't heard from Latchkey for a couple days...hope she's okay!

And the girls at Twisessed give us this wonderful whipped cream gift.

Attention: I Hate Jacob and Here's Why.

2009-10-06T09:43:00.005-06:00

There's no room for you, Taycob, in this twosome.

In case we haven't made it clear, we are a tad bit excited that New Moon is coming out next month. However, I want to make something very clear. Despite New Moon being a big Jacob franchise, we are firmly Team Edward. We don't really care for Jacob much. And after reading Letters to Twilight's fantastically funny post today about Team affiliation, I thought I'd climb up on my soap box and give my opinion.

Ahem. Hi all. My name is SW and I am Team Edward. Hard-core. After reading Twilight and then watching the movie and getting a visual of the perfection that is Edward Cullen, I fell madly in love with him. When I read New Moon and he left I was beside myself. I hated that Bella kept spending time with Jacob (go hang out with Angela, idiot). And then there was Eclipse. I hated how selfish, how ridiculous Bella was throughout that book (and yes, it did annoy me that Edward didn't just suck it up and fight for his girl instead of being all mature and shit and taking the fucking high road. Or at least pretending to take the high road.). But nothing compared to my hatred of Jacob. The mouth rape for starters. No means no, asshole. And the general being mean to Bella. Not the way to win the girl. Of course, stupid Bella keeps going back for more, keeps forgiving him. When she should just say, "Look dude, I'm sorry about this, but you and I can't hang out anymore. I'm busy trying to seduce my vampire boyfriend/true love forever into sex before marriage and you are putting a crimp in that. Plus you forced kissed me and you are generally douche-y. Laters."

And then there is the infamous real kiss. I hated hated hated this scene. There was nothing I liked about it. Nothing. When I read it, I slammed the book shut and had this conversation with Mr. W:

SW, yelling: "What the hell, bitch! Oh my God!"

Mr. W, looking at me with worry: "Who are you talking about?"

SW: "Bella. What a bitch."

Mr. W, confused and amused: "Bella? The character in those books you're reading? She's not real, honey."

SW, pissed off at Bella and Mr. W: "Shut up. You don't even know what you're talking about."

I hated Jacob for being such a fuckstick to fake that he was going to kill himself if Bella wouldn't kiss him. And I hated Bella for believing him, and doing it. In hindsight, I can give Bella a little credit here. She's confused by this friend-love and the supernatural force that is pulling them together since she's going to give birth to the object of Jacob's imprint. Not to mention the poor girl is sexually frustrated by the hot boyfriend who won't get naked with her. Combine all those factors and you have her living out her sexual wants for Edward transferred into Jacob, even though she doesn't seem to realize that at the time. But still, you're engaged to someone you want to love forever. Quit kissing other people! And yes, I know they're teenagers. But still. Hate Jacob's manipulative ass. Even more I hate how he tries to be all high and mighty at the end when she chooses Edward. Whatever shithead.

Breaking Dawn did make it a little easier to like Jacob a bit. However, when I first came across Part II in Jacob's perspective, I nearly stopped reading it. But I moved forward and it all worked out okay. And because I know how it all turns out, I can enjoy New Moon the Movie even more. Thank you.

So there you have it. SW's take on what Team is the right Team. And I think we all know the answer to that, right?

Thud.

2009-10-02T15:40:00.003-06:00

Breathe, ladies, breathe.

Source: Twilighters Anonyomous

A To Do List...

2009-10-01T08:21:00.005-06:00

Say it with me now: next month New Moon will be in theaters!

And since QP and I are officially crazy-with-a-capital-K enough to be going to the midnight showing, we have started composing a to-do list of things we need before, during, and after this monumental event. (When I say "started," I really mean edit. We've had our to-do list since March when we first read Twilight and found out the release date for New Moon.) We thought we'd share our list with you all:

To Do (For New Moon):
1. New Team Edward tee shirts. Because our old ones aren't going to cut it. We need something that announces our affiliation to Team Edward and perhaps plugs our blog. Something original, yet classy.
2. Car Markers. So we can decorate the car (duh) we will be driving to the theater. We're thinking "Edward is a VILF" across the back window.
3. Charge the travel DVD player/bring the Twilight movie. Since we will be showing up at that movie theater hours before showtime in order to get a prime seat for ourselves and the Tinys, we plan on taking a DVD player and Twilight. To pump us up. And pray that New Moon is better.
4. Alcohol. Because we're going to the midnight showing, which will be full of screaming, horrible teenagers and tweens. We're debating flask or coke bottle filled.
5. A babysitter. We need to find a new one. Requirements: Must have read The Twilight Saga, be Team Edward, and not a drunk/pedophile/drug user.
6. The Tinys. Because they deserve to see their full size selves on the big screen, am I right? And because what true twidiculous person is going to miss a photo op like that? Not us, fo sho.
7. Snacks, including some sort of round, hard candy ( M&Ms?). To nourish ourselves and to throw at aforementioned teenagers if they get too rowdy.
8. Re-read New Moon. Again. Just to get everything clear and be able to complain if they mess anything exceptionaly important up. (Note to movie editors/screen writer/director: Jacob and Bella-it was an almost kiss, do you hear me? ALMOST. Not a real one. Also, I better see Alice and Jacob arguing. And a proposal. Thank you.)
9. Camera and Laptop. To be able to update the blog as we wait and as soon as we leave. (Oh, maybe we won't need to bring the DVD player...)
10. Enjoy this movie. Because surely they can't mess it up as much as they did Twilight.

We originally planned to take all four books with us, but that's just too much shit to carry around. And originally, our group was going to bigger, but unfortunately, some of our Twidiculous friends weren't able to fly down here to watch it with us. But that's okay, QP and I can bring it hard enough for about 10 people.

What are you taking to/need to do before New Moon?

Next month!

~SW

Tiny B Meets Frosting Goddess Tanya

2009-09-25T08:00:00.006-06:00

She's been trying to avoid it. But Tiny E insisted that Tiny B meet Tanya. Tiny B has been nervous. After all, she's always frowning because that headband of hers is giving her a headache and her little plastic shoes are ugly. Not the exact attire you want to be wearing when you meet a beautiful female vamp that once made a play for your sunglasses clad Tiny hottie. But Tiny E insisted that Tanya was "family." Tiny B asked Tiny E what to expect. All he would say is that Tanya is tall, blond, and sweet.

Tiny B: I feel frumpy.

Tiny E: You're beautiful.

Tanya: But I am a sugar goddess.

~SW

Why No, I Wouldn't Kick You Out Of Bed.

2009-09-23T21:14:00.003-06:00

I have no idea when this scene from New Moon takes place (dream scequence, perhaps?). And frankly, I do not care. Slightly lightheaded with anticipation...and daydreams dancing in my head...
See more at the LA Times.

We Got Them Bitches!

2009-09-21T23:16:00.003-06:00

That's right. QP and SW are the proud owners of...TWO TICKETS to the 12:01am showing of New Moon!!! We sucked it up and decided to take on the scores of teenagers and see the first showing, cause we just can't bare the thought of people in this fucking city seeing it before us. *Shudder* At this point all we need is a babysitter, and we fully plan on leaving the children with any adult that is not a pedophile/Team Jacob. We're not all that picky when it comes to this movie.

WOOT WOOT!

Let's Try This Again

2009-09-14T08:15:00.000-06:00

And we wait.

Motherf*cker.

2009-09-13T12:44:00.001-06:00

Darn you Summit and your removal of trailers.

I. Am. Dead. On the floor, dead.

2009-09-13T11:35:00.001-06:00

Oh my God. November, NOW.

Excuses and Such

2009-09-04T11:28:00.004-06:00

An apology from the Wives:

Sorry folks (all 3 of you!). We know, our posts are few and far between as of late. Life is crazy. Most of us are Army wives, and lets just say it's not good times these days. We're trying to be good little wifeys and that cuts into bloggy time. And school started. One of us is a teacher, two of us have little monsters that now need our help getting ready in the morning to make it there (the things kids expect of you). Between deadlines and school and work, we are ignoring our blog (but at least SP and SW are still getting in quality fanfic reading time). Combined all that with a serious case of bloggy block on all fronts and, well, you get this. Very few posts and a drop in our rating as Top Twilight blog spot (not that we were ever very high, mind you). Sniffle, tear.

Not to worry! We promise, more blogs to come soon. We do have some adventures from this summer with the Tinys that need still to be posted, and with New Moon only 76 days away, we should have plenty to write about. Because, seriously people, we can only hold back from this affair for so long. Twilight always gets us to come back for more, even if it is wrong. Sorry DHs. wink wink.

We'll leave you with this:

Forgive us? Come back and read us soon? Okaythanksbye.

I Heart The Beautiful Bastard

2009-08-28T21:32:00.005-06:00

I mentioned in last week's Saturday Sparklers that I just started reading the fan fic piece The Office by tby789. What I should have said is that I love every single, lemon-filled word of it and basically want to be transported into the story in the role of Bella.

I want to be you. Badly.

The Office is panty melting HOT. A delicious, mouth-watering lemon waits for you in every chapter. Edward Cullen is a bastard, and Bella is a bit of a bitch, and when that bursts into passion filled, mind blowing sex sessions, my oh my. Panties, puddle on the floor.

Is this proper work attire? It is if you want your hot boss to screw you on the conference table.

And if the amazing sex scenes weren't enough, The Office is actually really well written. Really well. The story is fantastic. I won't give anything away, because you should go read it yourself, and I don't want to spoil all the excellence for you (hey, I might not be pure about everything, but I won't spoil a perfectly good, smutty piece of fanfic for you). The flip flop chapters between Edward and Bella's POVs add even more to the story, because getting to see both sides of this story? Excellent, indeed.

Let us end with this: this is the person you can be thinking about while you reading all the smuttastic chapters. A tasty end thought, no? You're welcome.

Hello ladies. I'm looking for an assistant. Anyone interested?

I know that tby789 already has a big following, so perhaps you have already started reading The Office and are anxiously awaiting new chapters. But if you haven't, you must read The Office. You can thank me later.

A Wedding Dress For Bella: The Good, The Bad, and The WTF

2009-08-25T09:22:00.011-06:00

Warning: Breaking Dawn SPOILER. (Well, fashion-wise at least.)

InStyle has done a feature with sketches of designer wedding dresses for Bella. Let's review, Twidic Style.

The Good:

The Lela Rose dress (L) is young, but still has that Victorian feel to it. And the Monique Lhuilliar(R) dress is a modern twist on the whole Anne of Green Gables look. It's probably the most like the book description, in my opinion.

The Bad:

Sorry Prabal Gurung (L), but that dress is ridiculous. Seriously, did you even read Stephanie Meyer's description? Because I don't think "Bella's ass hung out of her modern wedding dress" was part of the story. And Badgley Mischka (R)? It also didn't say Edward was marrying someones grandmother.

The What the Fuck:

Brian Reyes, I haven't even heard of you, but me thinks you might not be a fashion designer. Maybe I don't have enough high-end fashion cred (which is, in fact, quite likely) but I don't see any type of dress in this hot mess of a sketch. Bella can't wear a scribble on her wedding day. Sorry Brian.

You can click here to see the rest.

Saturday Sparklers

2009-08-22T10:55:00.003-06:00

The best of the week, solely based on the opinion of Twidiculous Wives. And since it's our blog, our opinion matters.

Cutie wraps up the Wide Awake Chapter discussions with the help of KG from I Heart Mythical Creatures.

The second official New Moon trailer is out! Check it out over at New Moon the Movie.

Thank God it's not that dumb chick from High School Musical! Leah and Seth are cast. Confessions of a TwiCrack Addict has the scoop.

And for your reading pleasure: The Office. Yeah, I know that I was slow to start this one, but my oh my.

One last thing: The Vampsicle. Seriously people, it's real. Don't read this at work. Or in front of children. Or if you are faint of heart. Twitarded checked it out (not literally...I think).

Friday Fanmade Poster = Fantastic

2009-08-21T08:21:00.002-06:00

Um...hello. Should this not be the official New Moon poster? Isn't this what we all want to see?

Bella and shirtless Edward in a passionate kiss with no dogs in sight. Ah yes.

Now all I need to do is to work some Face in the Hole magic a la Latchkey Wife....

We're Just A Bit Slutty Here, And We're Not Ashamed

2009-08-13T13:50:00.010-06:00

So, I've been noticing a trend lately in the Twilight blogesphere. Everybody's getting all pure on me. Suddenly, everyone wants to be a born-again Twi-Virgin. And I don't think I likey.

I mean don't get me wrong, I love me some Cutie, I basically worship the girls over at We Bite Pretty Hard, but ladies, how can you want to go all virgin about these people?

I would make out with each and everyone of you. Especially you on the left.

I understand what you're thinking. Really, I do. New Moon overload has been crazy. Trailers, leaked scenes and images, crazy cast sighting. It's all so much. It was so hard to pull yourself away. Maybe you feel that you've ruined your New Moon viewing pleasure by soiling yourself with twipeeks at all the shenanigans. Maybe you're thinking that you just want to watch Eclipse with a pure mind and be totally taken in by all the magic. That's to be commended. But, unfortunately, that's not how something like virginity works.

I hate to break it to you, but virginity? I think we all know there's no going back. It's one of those things that you just can't change. So maybe all the trailers, cast interviews, set stalking for New Moon is a bit like that guy you wished you'd never crawled into the backseat with after a couple of tequila shots junior year, but yeah. You can try and pretend that never happened when the cute innocent boy/third movie installment comes along, but it did. And deep down, you'll always just be a little slutty. Because virginity is something you can give away. But you ain't really getting it back.

So unless you're Cutie, in all your twivirgin white (we bow in respect for your true pureness), you might as well give it up and enjoy the Eclipse smut. Really, no one here will judge you. We are all quite comfortable in our twi-whore ways.

~SW

100 Days Left, Bitches!

2009-08-11T07:00:00.007-06:00

That's right everyone, we have a hit a crucial mark: only 100 days until New Moon opens in theaters!

I am SO ready. Ready to camp out the night before (with my portable DVD player and copy of Twilight movie). Ready to represent with my Team Edward tee shirt. Ready to boo any time Jacob pops up on the screen. Ready to cry when Edward leaves. Ready to swoon over the hotness that is Robert Pattinson. Ready to fight off anyone that tells me that our Tinys don't deserve a seat of their own. Ready to hold my own with the scores of teenagers that will be trying to prove they are bigger fans then me. Oh yes. I. AM. READY.

November: prepare yourself for twidiculousness.

Good. No one wants you to change, sugar.

Just For Fun...

2009-08-09T14:15:00.002-06:00

OK, so SW and I are pretty obsessed with Wide Awake, by Angstgoddess03. I came across these fan-made movie trailers for the story and I thought I'd share them. Enjoy!

They almost make me cry... *sniff*

Saturday Sparklers

2009-08-08T08:09:00.004-06:00

In case you missed them:

The Twitards are drowning in Edwards, Mini and not so Mini.

TwiSessed reviews Twilight (the movie ) and converts a Team Jacob member (maybe there's hope for my former friend.)

Cutie from Super Secret Twilight Blog guest posted for Tasha (one of our absolute favorites here at TwidiculousWives) over at Something Less Productive, and let me tell you: hi-lar-i-ous. And may just make you, ahem, notice Emmett. And his dimples. *swoon*

And it's come to my attention that not everyone has read Wide Awake (cough, QP, cough). The best f'ing piece of fanfic ever. Go. Read. Or we maybe can't be friends anymore.

And what's this? A little celebrity stalking never hurt anyone. Check out what Moon over at Letter's to Twilight saw....

The Betrayal

2009-08-06T07:19:00.009-06:00

My best friend, who we'll call Birdy here, and I have always traded book recommendations back and forth. So, obviously, after I had devoured the Twilight Saga, I immediately told her she needed to read it. She had no desire. She thought I was crazy. She refused, repeatedly. But I was persistent. I recruited our other friend, who'll be known as Bunny, who is also a twicrazy, and we started in on her. A typical conversation:

"You'll love it. It's an epic romance!"

"It's about vampires. What's romantic about that?"

"Gah! Sexy vampires! You don't understand, this is the best love story EVER."

"Ever? I highly doubt that. It's a book written for teenagers."

"You don't know what you're talking about. And how have you not seen this movie? Have you seen a picture of Robert Pattinson?"

"Who?"

"Oh my GOD!"

But finally, finally, we have worn her down. Last week, she started the books. She flew through Twilight and even admitted that it was really good. I started imagining long, meaningful conversations between the two of us about our love of Robert Pattinson and what it would be like to live like a Cullen. Perhaps she could meet the Tinys. Bunny immediately loaned her New Moon to read. And that's where my trouble began.

I never thought that this would happen to me. I've heard about this happening to other people, but it certainly wouldn't, couldn't happen to me. But it has. And I just don't know what to do.

Birdy is on Team Jacob.

I tried to explain to her that Edward was way superior. I pointed out that he sparkles, that he loves Bella in a way beyond soul mates, that he doesn't turn into an animal, that he's sexyhot. She didn't buy it. Jacob is so nice, she says. He just wants to save Bella's life, she says. He's human and so cute, she says.

Just say NO to werewolves.

And then this, with disapproval in her voice: "Edward's a vampire. He's too fancy (fancy?!). He wants to eat her. He's going to have to change her."

And this is a bad thing? I was waiting for that shit from the ballet studio on!

And then the worst part of all: "I don't know if I should finish these books. If she doesn't end up with Jacob, I'll be disappointed. Can we still be friends?"

No. No. NO. Someone kill me.

Bunny is doing her best (note: Birdy and Bunny live in a different state then me). She's taking the movie over to Birdy's house this weekend to show her the benefits of Robward. Surely this will sway her? How could she resist Robward? She can't, right?

Don't worry SW, I'll take care of this.

I don't know that I can get past this. I mean, seriously, were we reading the same book? Did she have her nose in some special edition Jacob-is-alright version? Because I cannot fathom how anyone could be Team Jacob when Edward is around. I must destroy her and her Team Jacob nonsense....

Calendar Pictures

2009-08-05T18:53:00.009-06:00

EYE CANDY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Enjoy **QP**

RAY BAN' S ABUSED

2009-08-05T18:23:00.008-06:00

One of my favorite scenes in TWILIGHT, is the school parking lot scene with the Ray Bans. Edward looks HOT!!! But it became even hotter when I realized ROBPATZ totally ROCKS them " In Real Life". I want a pair of these overpriced shades, just so I feel like I have a little piece of him with me.

TODAY I STUMBLED UPON THIS..............................
Maybe some of you have seen this Teen Wolf trying to copy cat Robward. But I'm not a fan in the least of Jacob's, so I don't find myself surfing the web for random pics or articles about him. I nearly choked when I saw this. There is just so much about this picture that is wrong. If only I were the construction worker behind him. I would run up behind him, push him down to the ground and yell, "BAD DOG"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
And maybe throw in a kick or two for laughs:)
**QP**

Jacksper and a Fanfic Recommendation

2009-08-03T08:06:00.012-06:00

I won't lie. I kinda have a thing for Jackson/Jasper. Don't get me wrong, I love me some/frequently fantasize about Rob/Edward, but there's something about skinny musician-actors/vampires that try so hard to be good but can't resist the urge to lung at you with blood lust.

Need more Jasper? Read this fanfic: South. Not smutty, but angsty and good.

Need more Jackson? Check out more photos here.

Saturday Sparklers

2009-08-01T10:48:00.005-06:00

The Weekly Round Up of Twitasticness:

Victoria's been replaced and it sucks ass: Lauren's Bite says take a stand, bloggers. We couldn't agree more.

The New Moon Official Movie Website. If you haven't checked it out, do. Because of images like this:

Oh my.

Kellen Lutz at play. Wow.

And finally, for some hilarious Texts From Last Night, check out We Bite Pretty Hard's Twilight Text finds.

You Say It's Your Birthday....

2009-07-31T16:34:00.003-06:00

Twilight and New Moon Hallmark cards. Silly you say? How many products can they produce you say? Will the sellout never end you say?
I say I want one. For every holiday they're offering them. Must get Mr. W on it. Perhaps they come with Robward in a box with a bow. Yeah, Mr. W probably wouldn't go for that.

See them all over at E!Online.

Crimson Moon's Bio

2009-07-30T12:29:00.006-06:00

I was just a ordinary girl, who had a relatively ordinary life until the "Twilight Saga"

I was not really one to read many books, until my bestie QP said that she had watched the movie twilight, and that she loved it, and was going to read the books. So i decided why not, its obviously popular, so i decided that when we got home from our vacation, i would start reading.
And then it happened..
i was so hooked that i couldnt hardly put it down, i was reading at least 12 hours a day. i just couldnt stop myself, and when i wasnt reading, i was always thinking about it, always on edge thinking about what was going to happen next. My poor husband just got thrown to the back burner for a while, while i was in my bliss. I couldnt believe that i loved it this much.
All the while, my husband had to fend for himself, he would always say, "Im not jealous of one book, im jealous of four books".

And so, i always catch myself off in Edwardland daydreaming about twilight, and how we all wish the cullens would just adopt us, and always having to stop and stare and the big cardboard cutouts at the mall, or just always having to flip through the magazines at the checkout counter, to see whats new.

Now that the books are done, bring on the movies!!

CM

How Will I Find Time For Work?

2009-07-30T07:30:00.003-06:00

For those of you who don’t know, I am a teacher. Yes, I am a shaper of young (ages three-to-five years-old, to be exact) minds. Being that school is out for the summer, I have A LOT of free time to spend doing various Twilight-related activities. What kind of activities, you ask? I would be happy to share a few:

1.) (Re)reading Twilight. And New Moon. And Eclipse. And Breaking Dawn. And Midnight Sun.

2.) Spending endless hours engrossed in Fan Fiction (Are you reading Wide Awake, BTW? If so, you must go and join Cutie at Super Secret Twilight Blog’s discussion this Friday over Chapters 21-30 And if not, you should be! Go now!).

3.) Daydreaming…about riding in the silver Volvo with Edward. And pulling over. And climbing in the backseat. And….well, you get the picture.

4.) Talking about the Saga to anyone who will listen (Just ask SW—we barely talk about anything non-Twilight related these days!)

5.) Googling (from my Twilight Google homepage) anything I can think of (Robert Pattinson pics, Rob Pattinson hair, wet Rob Pattinson, Rob Pattinson button-fly jeans…what?)

6.) Visiting Edward at FYE in the mall. (He always stares at me so seductively…)

7.) Spending any leftover time visiting my fav Twilight blogs and websites

As you can see, I have found quite a few things to keep me busy while DH is at work during the day. (And I do mean pretty much all day, every day!) I’m beginning to worry though. Each day I get closer and closer to the day where I have to go back to work and I’m starting to wonder….how will I EVER have enough time to get my Twilight fix during the school year?? I don’t know if the evenings alone will cut it anymore...

Time to get creative. I’m going to have to fill this Twidiculous void whenever I have a free moment. For starters, I’m thinking I need to hang a Robward poster on the door to the supply closet. (On the inside people! Then, when I need a moment away from the kids I can just step inside and stare at him. Is that creepy? And am I brave enough to explain it to my assistant teacher and aides??) ) I guess I can try to read during my lunch break. Sadly, my classroom doesn’t even have internet due to budget cuts, so internet-related activities will all have to be reserved for home time. Tiny E and B can come to school with me some days…I’ll just have to make sure they stay hidden out of the kids' sight (and out of the reach of their sticky little hands!)

How do you working Twidiculous ladies do it? Any suggestions?

PS: Can I just mention again how much we LOVE our button from the fantastic Betti.Music.Twilight ?!! I'm still working on getting DH to put on the glitter...

Update: Rachelle's Statement

2009-07-29T19:21:00.001-06:00

Exclusive statement from Rachelle Lefevre via Access Hollywood:

“I was stunned by Summit’s decision to recast the role of Victoria for Eclipse. I was fully committed to the Twilight saga, and to the portrayal of Victoria. I turned down several other film opportunities and, in accordance with my contractual rights, accepted only roles that would involve very short shooting schedules.

“My commitment to Barney’s Version is only ten days. Summit picked up my option for Eclipse. Although the production schedule for Eclipse is over three months long, Summit said they had a conflict during those ten days and would not accommodate me. Given the length of filming for Eclipse, never did I fathom I would lose the role over a 10-day overlap. I was happy with my contract with Summit and was fully prepared to continue to honor it. Summit chose simply to recast the part.

“I am greatly saddened that I will not get to complete my portrayal of Victoria for the Twilight audience. This is a story, a theatrical journey and a character that I truly love and about which I am very passionate. I will be forever grateful to the fan support and loyalty I’ve received since being cast for this role, and I am hurt deeply by Summit’s surprising decision to move on without me. I wish the cast and crew of Eclipse only the very best.”

What the hell? Not okay, Summit. Not okay.

~SW

The New Victoria.. You Be The Judge

2009-07-29T11:23:00.011-06:00

I'm sure most of you know that Summit has released that Bryce Dallas Howard will be replacing Rachelle Lefevre as VICTORIA, in "Eclipse". Lets hope for Howard's sake, this is not true. I don't know much about this red head, other than she's OPIE's daughter. But look at her and look at Lefevre. I look at Howard and I see a quiet girl, a nice girl, a Pre-K teacher.( No offense to those of you that are) On the other hand I look at Lefevre and I see a bitch, a naughty girl. I just don't see Howard pulling off the rage that she is supposed to have in Eclipse. Victoria is out to avenge her mate's death. "My cat just got ran over by my neighbor" Kind of pissy-ness is not going to cut it She has big shoes to fill. I cant believe they would replace her for Eclipse. Victoria's role is huge in Eclipse. And I personally could not imagine any one other than Lefevre playing the role of Victoria. I am not a happy Twilight fan. Summit has lost their mind! If a scheduling conflict is the reason for the replacement, then figure it out, and change some things around to accommodate.
If all of this is true, look how easily she has been replaced. Worries me who else they could in fact "REPLACE."
BOTTOM LINE: Bryce Dallas Howard is no Rachelle Lefevre.
~QP~

A Hunting Lesson

2009-07-29T09:16:00.009-06:00

Don't tell anyone (especially the Volturi), but QP are the proud owners of three....immortal children. I know, I know, it's wrong. But they're just so darn enchanting. Except when they throw tantrums. Then they have a tendency to be terrifying. For example:

These two just massacred a family and took over their home.

This one is on his way to destroying a playground because his mother ( I mean, "creator") wouldn't let him watch more TV.

Anyhoo, in order to curb their blood lust, Tiny E decided to take it upon his wee self to try and teach these kiddos how to hunt, vegetarian style. Granted, a couple pets had to be sacrificed*, but anything to keep the Volturi from coming down on us. Shudder.

Tiny E lectured these little vamps on the benefits of being able to fit into society by simply draining the blood of animals. They were willing to listen. For someone who never takes his sunglasses off, Tiny E can be a pretty persuasive guy. And then he took them out to try.

Ah, sweet success.

*For any animal activists out there, no animals were really harmed in the making of this exceptionally ridiculous blog post. Promise.

~SW

Twidic~ Wives Casting picks for "BREAKING DAWN"

2009-07-27T21:34:00.017-06:00

**ATTENTION**
CASTING FOR BREAKING DAWN
(well, for us Twidic Wives)

For many months now SW and I have been trying to decide who should play the various vampires in Breaking Dawn.
The name that has stood out the most is Taylor Swift. We can see her playing Irina or Maggie. At this point we would be content with her playing any vampire.

Would she not be an Awesome Vampire??

I myself would have loved for Sam Elliott to play the role of Garrett, the American Nomad. When I read Breaking Dawn for some reason his face came into my mind, every time Garret would speak. Now I know this is not a possibility, as much as I love Sam Elliott and find him rather attractive for an older man. He is just way too old to play the part.

So my other option, the more reasonable one; partially b/c I just love looking at him is...................

.....the so-hot-I-want-to-eat-you-with-a-spoon: Channing Tatum. (So yeah I couldn't choose which pic, I liked the most so they both made the cut.) He would make a great Garrett (and OMG he is SOOOOO FUCKING HOT)!!!!!

James Mcavoy would be a good candidate for Peter. Jasper's friend from Mexico that is mates with Charlotte. Plus he's not hard to look at either.

So this is all I have got to far. I am up for suggestions, so if you got any leave me a comment. I will continue to add more. I just have to research and find more HOT GUYS and Gals the could potentially play awesome vampires..Ok well this is my craziness for the day..... Enjoy
"QP"

Rob Leads The Way

2009-07-27T11:35:00.007-06:00

This summer, QP and I have been traveling all over fucking creation. Luckily, we have a little helper to guide us on our many trips:

Note: I kinda suck at taking pictures in a moving car.

This GPS is officially called a Tom Tom, but QP and I decided it needed a real name. Like Rob.

Who doesn't want to take a ride with him?

After searching through the many confusing options on this thing, we found that we could change the voice on it, the voice that says things like "In three miles, turn left." And-jackpot-we found a male voice with an English accent. Score. Now Rob can tell us things like, "Stay on the motorway," and "In three hundred meters, turn right." Sexy, right? Like he's guiding us where he wants us to go (wink wink). Neither us actually has any idea how far a meter is, but whatever. GPS Rob can tell us what to do and where to go all damn day in his sexy accent.

The problem is, sometimes, Rob doesn't know what the hell he is talking about. Like when we're on the freeway and he keeps trying to get us to take the scary-ass back roads because the 1/2 a meter shorter then the freeway. Maybe he's drunk. That's when Tiny E steps in. He's the responsible one of the two.

Oh, Wives, let me assist you in your travels.

Because a little plastic action figure totally knows how to get us somewhere when an expensive English accented GPS can't. You understand.

~SW

New Moon Scenes! New Moon Scenes!

2009-07-24T10:14:00.004-06:00

I might have just died. Especially after number two.

~SW (who is barely able to contain herself and her excitement)

Not everything is meant to be shared with your spouse!!

2009-07-23T14:56:00.002-06:00

So I've been with my husband for 13 years. If anyone tried to hurt him in any way I would have to kill them... However, last night I was willing to make an exception. We went over to a friends house so that I could work on my Facebook page and hang out. As the evening winded down we were all in the livingroom just talking when some how the topic of Twilight and Edward came up. My friend is a big fan too, and may be just as Edward crazy as I am. Her and I mentioned how romantic Edward is in the books when my husband tried to get in on the conversation(as if he had a clue what he was talking about). I told him not to be a Twiposer or I would Twijack his shit up.. He had the nerve to say that Edward was an EMO PUSS... OMG!!! my friend threw an object at him and I let her. He laughed of course and thought his comment was justified. I told him he was just upset that he was no Edward. My friend told him if he ever spoke an ill word against Edward in her home again he could never come back... Of course he apologized later, but I let him know that he can't talk Twilight with me again. It is my reality escape and who wants life to collide with the Twiworld?? So he agreed to RESPECT my world of escape and never mention Edward again. He better if he ever wants to see me naked again!! ~AB

For Your Viewing Pleasure.

2009-07-22T10:07:00.003-06:00

Seriously, the man should not be this good looking. It's not healthy, since I stop breathing when I look at him.

~SW

too old to be so obsessed!!

2009-07-20T18:41:00.007-06:00

Well, as most of you know I just celebrated a rather important birthday last week. While most people like to embrace turning 30, I would rather have my eyes poked with needles!! As I started my week off as a 30 year old woman I decided to take a trip with a friend to Walmart so I could purchase another Twilight Mag. for my collection when across the way of the mag. aisles I noticed a large rotating shelf and on it hung buttons with Edwards beautiful face all over it. I started to sprint to the other side when out of nowhere came a group of 20 something bitches and snatched all the buttons off that shelf... Oh, I was about to chase them all down and the next thing I know, I am on the ground with a little pain in my arm. At that point I realized that I had fallen down.. OMG!!! I guess that is what turning old means, you fall at the slightest moment of anger and rage. By thetime I picked myself up, those girls were gone and along with them, all the Twilight buttons. But, on a positive ending to this most tragic start of my new age, I was able to find some more buttons at another walmart... I may be 30 now, but that dark age will not sway me from being just as Twidiculous as I ever was.. ~AB

The Vampire Wears...???

2009-07-19T15:53:00.009-06:00

A month ago, I read an article, and I’ve been rolling it over in my head ever since. Basically, the article is an interview with Ashley Greene, where she discusses the fact that New Moon will have a much larger budget than Twilight, and will, therefore, have better clothes. Now, I love the movie Twilight, don’t get me wrong. I LOVE it. But there were definitely some things about it that bugged me. One of those things was some of the characters’ appearances.

Stephenie Meyer spent a long time describing her characters and their appearances. She gave a lot of detail. And often, she described specific outfits in a scene. In the movie, the clothes were nothing like what was detailed in the book. Maybe that isn’t a big deal, but it just bothers me…it’s not RIGHT. Why wouldn't you try to get the outfits to resemble the ones from the novels?

One of the biggest issues for me was Rosalie. She is supposed to be gorgeous and fashionable, as are all the Cullen's. In the movie, she just did not live up to that expectation. Her clothing was (in my opinion) unflattering and boring. I never once looked at her and thought, “Ooh, I’d love to look like that!” (Shouldn't you want to look like the most beautiful woman on the planet?) Take, for example, her outfit when Bella comes to the house to meet the family. She is wearing skinny jeans, a blazer, heels, and a huge necklace. Surely they could have found something better for her to wear. In the movie, Rosalie just doesn’t strike me as a cutting edge dresser. Her wardrobe was a major disappointment. Her outfits look pretty much the same throughout the film. Why is she always dressed in blazers? It looks outdated to me. Plus, you can really see that they had to cake on Nikki Reed’s makeup to give her that pale-vampire look. She's gorgeous when she's her natural, darker skinned color, but she looks kind of sickly in the film.

Even worse is Bella’s outfit when she meets the Cullen family. Bella took a lot of time to decide what to wear in the novel, and she ends up choosing a dark blue blouse and a long, khaki-colored skirt. In the movie, she is wearing a green long sleeved t-shirt and brown (corduroy?) pants. Not that this outfit is so horrible in and of itself, but how hard is it to slap on a skirt and a blue top? Especially since SM makes such a big deal about Edward loving Bella in blue. I mean, even with a limited budget, that shouldn’t be a big deal. You could buy that outfit at Wal-Mart!

The guys’ outfits were a little better done. Their fitted clothes made them look more custom and stylish. (Of course Rob looked great in everything!) And I thought Esme and Alice both looked pretty good. Alice’s style was pretty boho in Twilight, but it seems that in New Moon she will be more polished. Ashley compares Alice's style in New Moon to Audrey Hepburn’s with some extra attitude. Sounds great to me!

From what little I’ve seen of New Moon, I think the larger budget is apparent in the makeup and clothing. Edward and Bella were exactly the same color in Twilight, and while Bella is described as being extremely fair, she should still have more color (remember how much Edward loves to see her blush!) than a vampire. In New Moon, you can see the contrast between Edward and Bella’s skin tones, which I think is nice, and they look so much more natural and healthy. Also, the characters as a whole look so much more stylish in the shots we’ve seen of Bella’s birthday party. THAT is what I wanted to see in Twilight! It's true to SM’s description in the novels.

I certainly hope that the outfits and make-up are truly improved in New Moon and the subsequent movies. What do you think? Were the characters what you imagined in Twilight? What clothing did you like or dislike?

-SP

Saturday Sparklers

2009-07-18T11:57:00.003-06:00

The weekly round up:

Check out this airport crisis deverted at We Bite Pretty Hard.

I wish I had a boss this cool. Read about it at Twitarded.

Go NOW and watch the videos. NOW. Ramblings of A Latchkey Wife.

Smutty fanfic that will make you wish Edward Cullen deflowered you. Making Mrs. Cullen.

~SW

Meet Riley!

2009-07-17T14:09:00.005-06:00

<------Supposedly, this is the guy who's going to play Victoria's bitch in the movie version of Eclipse.

He's Australian, he's of legal age (24), and his name is Xavier Samuel. Not exactly bad looking, but he's no Robward.

I have to admit, he looks pretty near to what I pictured Riley to look like. Although I admit I was excited about the Channing Tatum as Riley rumors.

Thoughts?

Yeah, this one's waaay hotter. ------------->

(Sorry couldn't resist the wet Rob photo. Really. Couldn't. Resist.)

~SW

Edward Cullen Love

2009-07-14T07:29:00.003-06:00

SP and I have discovered a gold(en eye) mine: Edward Cullen Love on Facebook! Now, of course, SP and I cannot reveal our Facebook names here, since this blog is anonymous. I mean, people know we like Twilight, but not that were so obsessed that we have dedicated a whole blog to it. We have to live with our husbands after all, and if they knew we were searching the Internet for hotass pics of Robert Pattinson and wondering what our life would be like if we ran off with a teenage vampire, well, things might not be so pleasant at home.

Anyhoo, Edward Cullen Love. It's a Facebook application where you can send your friends Edward Cullen things. Things like kisses and prom dates and fighting off evil vampires (because since I'm an adult and all, I totally need a prom date). SP and I have been going back and forth with our little "gifts." And really, it's too much fun sending little icon pics of Twilight movie stills.

Hello Wives, like a ride?

Our fave so far? "Edward Cullen breaks the rules to be with you!" Because, who doesn't love the scene where Edward pulls up in the Volvo and Spotlight is playing and he tells Bella he's going to hell anyway? That's what I thought. Because wouldn't we all love to catch a drive in the Volvo with Robward? And maybe take a drive out in the woods and run out of gas and it be cold and then be forced to use each others body's for warmth except of course Edward would be all ice cold and then we'd have to start getting physical to stay warm...where was I?

Oh right. So, if you have a Facebook account, check out the Edward Cullen Love application.

~SW

Romantic Moments, Tiny Style

2009-07-12T07:52:00.006-06:00

Oh Bella and Edward. You are so in love. Observe their Tiny style devotion*.

Gazing into each others' eyes.

Tree talk.

A walk through the forest.

And of course, the meadow.

*Twidic Note: These images won't always be so gooey. We just got our Tinys and are a *tad* bit excited. Random pictures have ensued. Trust me, the Tinys will be doing much more amusing things in the very near future.

~SW and "QP"

Saturday Sparklers

2009-07-11T14:20:00.005-06:00

Well, it's that day of the week again!

Here are our suggestions to brighten your day, Twilight-style of course!

Fan Fiction: JJ over at Twitarded has posted Chapter 5 of her fanfic piece, 15 Step. If you haven't been reading it already, start at the
beginning and get caught up! You'll love her new take on Bella and
Edward. I'm eagerly awaiting Chapter 6...

Need even more Fan Fiction? You're in luck. Tasha at Something Less Productive has posted a list of her favorite fanfic. Believe
me...there is some good stuff there! Here's her Dirty Little Twi-Secret! Ahhh....

That ought to keep you busy for a while!

Love,

The Winds of Change Are Blowing...

2009-07-08T09:33:00.002-06:00

This weekend, my hubby and I went to visit our families for the Fourth of July. Being that we currently live in a ridiculously small town due to DH’s job, we had some errands to run in the “real world.” One of these urgent tasks was a trip to the local Barnes and Noble. DH and I both love books, and therefore, can happily spend hours wandering around this particular establishment. Now that we don’t have immediate access, we always leave time to stop by when we’re in the vicinity of the store.

The first sign of change came when I was perusing a table of newly released paperbacks. DH zipped over to my side with a big smile and says, “I guess you haven’t made it back to the ‘If You Liked Twilight’ table?” Giddy with excitement over his discovery, I rushed to the table, which was covered with Twilight-esque novels. After looking them over, I was disappointed to see that these particular novels seemed to be Young Adult novels, and none seemed nearly as intriguing as the Twilight Saga. I knew I couldn’t be satisfied by sub-standard teen vampire lit, so I walked away a little disheartened.

After a few minutes, something dawned on me. Could my husband have actually been excited to tell me about the table? He was smiling and looked proud of himself for discovering the display before me. As I have mentioned before, all things Twilight have been subject to ridicule from DH since it became clear that the level of my interest in the Saga is, shall we say, more enthusiastic than most peoples’. Could this be the beginning of a shift? Could my husband actually be learning to accept my Twi-love?

About an hour later, as we were getting ready to check out, DH mentioned that he needed a new bookmark. We walked over to the display, where I immediately spotted three Twilight bookmarks! Naturally I was squealing with joy (quietly, because you don’t squeal loudly in B&N) as I snatched up my treasure. DH just shook his head with a little smile, like he was amused by my silliness. (I was slightly annoyed because of the fact that these particular bookmarks were hanging by the Hannah Montana and High School Musical bookmarks. I mean, Twilight does NOT belong there. Right?) I waited for the reminder that I was purchasing merchandise from a novel written for TEENAGERS, or to hear some remark about how he was embarrassed for me. Silence. He didn’t say a word, just walked around with that little smile on his face. Ok, definitely a weird reaction for DH. He always has something to say on the subject of Twilight, and it has never been anything positive. Perhaps I am reading too much into it, but could my hubby be in the early stages of approval?

I am daring to be hopeful…

-SP

The Tinys Show Their Colors

2009-07-04T09:23:00.005-06:00

From all of us here at Twidiculous Wives, have a very Happy 4th!

We might be Tiny in stature, but we're big on patriotism.

Mmmmm....

2009-07-02T09:16:00.005-06:00

I saw this picture earlier this week, but was waiting to post it until I could write something coherent. Because, this photo gets me all flushed. And takes away the ability to think clearly.

Hmm? What was I saying? Was I typing something? Feeling a bit flushed...must lay down. Or go read some smutty Twilight fan fiction.

~SW

Image via: New Moon Movie.

They're Here!

2009-07-01T14:32:00.003-06:00

Ladies and gentlemen (well, mostly ladies): we have in our possession.......Tiny Edward and Tiny Bella!

Behold them in all their greatness:

We're here to make you happy, ladies.

Prepare for adventures. Until then, check out Twitarded and Ramblings of a Latchkey Wife for their amazing adventures with their minis.

~SW and "QP"

Saturday Sparklers

2009-06-27T13:19:00.005-06:00

Hi fellow twidics! We're starting a new column here at Twidiculous Wives called Saturday Sparklers. This will just be a run down of twitastic stories from the Twilight blogosphere for the week. Just click on the links and you can find all sort of twifabulousness (That was a lot of "twi" words. Sorry. Sometimes I get carried away.).

Here we go:

Ramblings of a Latchkey Wife: Mini E Prepares for A Romantic Evening Read it. You will laugh so hard it hurts.

New Moon Movie: New Moon Cover Update: Two New Editions The Case of the Right New Moon Book Cover is solved.

Lauren's Bite: Things to Come... The video is worth the trip over to the site. Ray Bans, people, Ray Bans.

Fan Fiction: Ten Things Emmett Can't Ever Do. A short piece of fan fiction, from Emmett's point of view, when he decides that Edward is...different...from his brothers. Oh so funny.

Enjoy. And trust me, you will.

~SW

COMING SOON!!!

2009-06-27T00:00:00.004-06:00

IT'S OFFICIAL:
The long debate on whether we will or will not get the Miniatures of Edward and Bella is over. "SW" and I have decided we have to have them!!! It's going to be great. We have many adventures we will be taking them on, in which some Tiny- B will be left behind. But Tiny-B and Tiny-E are each others one true love so she will not fault us for this.

What kind of adventures, you ask...OH THERE WILL BE MANY. We have extensive plans for both Tiny- E and Tiny-B. Some include Camping, Cliff Diving, Fishing, Hunting, Trips to the Zoo, Romantic Dinners in their lavish house. And MANY more......... Eventually they will be going out of state to visit "SP" and various other friends who will appreciate their plastic "TINY" selves as much as "SW" and I.
I Can't Wait
"QP"

I'm The Lucky One!

2009-06-25T15:03:00.008-06:00

Why so lucky you ask? Because the Walgreen's store close to me put out The Sexy Stars of Twilight a day early and I now own a copy! That's right, in my house, as we speak, there are oodles of pictures of Robert Pattinson, including pull out posters! SCORE!
How did this happen you ask? Well, I originally went to Walgreen's to pick up some photos I had ordered. As I cruised down the aisle that houses magazines, I just looked them over briefly. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw a magazine with a pic of Rob on the front and thought, briefly to myself, "That pic looks like the one that's going to be on The Sexy Stars of Twilight." But, since it's not suppose to come out until tomorrow, I didn't give it a second glance, not wanting to drop so low that I was checking out Teen Beat magazines. As I continued walking down the aisle, two teenage girls flew around the corner and glued themselves to the magazines. Suddenly, I knew what I had just let slip through my fingers. I turned and saw them reach and pick up the magazine I had looked over. Then I heard it: the sound of a squeal that could only mean someone just saw a gorgeous picture of Robert Pattinson. It couldn't be! It was!

THE SEXY STARS OF TWILIGHT WAS IN MY REACH AND I LET IT SLIP INTO THE HANDS OF 14 YEAR OLDS!

I debated running up to them, ripping it out of their little teenage hands and running to the check out counter. But, I looked down at my child, who was with me at the store, and decided not to give that kind of example. All I need is for my kid to be in therapy in 20 years saying things like, "Mama loved Twilight more then me!"
So, I had no other choice but to cruise the store and see if The Sexy Stars Of Twilight was also up front with the weekly magazines. I looked through the racks as calmly as I could, but to no avail. I braced myself for a fight with teenagers, because there was no way I was leaving the store without that magazine. I walked up to them, making calculations of how I could snatch it, when suddenly I saw it, shining out of the magazine rack like a beacon: One. More. Copy. I grabbed that sucker and the teenage girls beamed huge braces-filled smiles at me.
"It's here! I'm totally getting it!" one of them squealed.
"Me too!" I squealed in response. Little did they know how close then came to getting knocked down.
After paying $10 for a magazine full of posters of actors under 25, I raced to the car and immediately called SP.
"Prepare yourself to be jealous."
"WHAT?" she said (she knew it had to be about Twilight, as we rarely talk about anything else these days).
"I have in my possession....The Sexy Stars of Twilight."
"Sqeeeeal!"
After giving her the details, she immediately got off the phone to cruise her local stores for a copy of her own. Next I called QP. She called her close by Walgreen's and made a poor man walk around the store looking for it. But only my Walgreen's seems unable to read a calender and realize that this piece of twitasticness is not suppose to be out until tomorrow. QP called back in defeat.
"I'm coming over. I need to see it TODAY." she said.

Oh, I am the lucky one.

~SW

New Moon Movie Tie-In Book Cover- UPDATE

2009-06-23T20:18:00.005-06:00

Okay, so evidently the below post is the false cover. The actual cover is something that won't be posted on this blog, because it is way too much Jacob. And we hate Jacob. If you really want to see it (prepare yourself, it will only make you angry and emo), you can check it out here.
Gag me. When you're done looking at that piece of trash, you can come back here and look at this:

You're welcome for erasing that awful book cover image away with a good Bella/Edward image.

~SW

New Moon Movie Tie-In Paperback

2009-06-23T10:35:00.006-06:00

OMG. This is the new cover for the New Moon book.

Edward, please let me comfort you. Or at least stop trying to "save" Bella from yourself and go back to her immediately. I cannot bare to see you hurt so. Bella, please push Jacob away and run to your one true love and get married and have crazy vampire sex with him and never look back. And Jacob, please just go away. Far away. Forever.

Via: http://www.newmoonmovie.org/

~SW

Fan Made New Moon Poster: I Like the Pale Side

2009-06-22T21:30:00.006-06:00

I love it. Love it. The dark, the light (hello: dark=evil, everyone knows that!). If only Edward would snap that stupid dog's neck...

~SW

Image by: Nikitajuice

Vampires Are Dads, Too

2009-06-21T07:18:00.005-06:00

Should we be wishing Edward a Happy Father's Day?
I mean how far is too far? How crazy is just a little too crazy? Is it really wrong to wish a 17 year old mythical being who is the father to a half vampire/half human baby girl "Happy Father's Day"? I mean, and I really hate to bring this up, but he is....fictional (I didn't mean it! He's real in our hearts!). Well, crazy or not, I think the photo above kinda rocks, and this is a perfect reason to display it, so......
Happy Father's Day, Edward!
There, I said it. And I probably don't feel as twidiculous as I should.
And I just read this over at Twitarded, and I feel so much more normal. If only I had a mini E. Sigh.

~SW

Where will YOU be on June 26th?

2009-06-20T06:00:00.007-06:00

**WARNING: Exciting news to follow.

Please attempt to control your emotions to avoid looking "twidiculous"**

I can tell you where I'll be on Friday...standing in line to purchase my copy of "The Sexy Stars of Twilight"! Yes, this is a special-edition magazine being published by US Weekly Magazine. It is scheduled for release on Friday, June 26th. Here's the description from Barnes and Noble:

"This special, limited-edition magazine is packed with photos of the Twilight movie stars Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart, and features behind-the-scenes info on the filming of the sequel -- New Moon. Seven pull-out posters make it a
must for any Twilight fan! "

**Ok, I give you permission to scream
and jump up and down with excitement **

Will it be embarrassing to buy the magazine, being that we are married, mature, adult women? Maybe a little. But it's so going to be worth it! You can't tell me you don't want one of these babies! I am dying to get a copy! Let me tell you, I rarely buy any magazine...and when I do, it is NEVER a celebrity gossip mag. (Ok, ok, there was that one copy of Teen Beat that I bought when I was 13 years old because it had a photo of Devon Sawa in it!) Anyway, this is a whole magazine devoted to our favorite subject! (If you would like to see a few pages from inside the magazine, including the Table of Contents, just look on the Barnes and Noble website.)

See you in line! (I'll be the woman in her mid-twenties wearing sunglasses and a hat, surrounded by squealing teenagers. )

-SP

A compromise

2009-06-19T10:04:00.009-06:00

So my husband has finally realized that there is another guy in my life... He has been moping around the house trying to get my attention so I informed him that I love him and we have pics of us all over the house, and if he truly loved me he would allow me to have pics of the other man,Edward. He agreed. So, I am getting posters to hang in my room this afternoon... I know this sounds ridiculous, but my hubby just says if it makes me happy he can live with it.. Of course he rolls his eyes, but he loves to see me glow. He so benefits from this arrangement too. I mean, he is real!!! He is so understanding cause once upon a time I was obsessed with Justin Timberlake and he didn't mind if I had pics of him all over my room. Then I grew out of it and took them down. He feels that I am owed my reality escape and he wont stop me. I mean, what else can he do?? Oh, how lucky I am to have him let me keep my emotional affair with a book going a little while longer.... God I am glad this blog is anonymous.OMG he is so hot!! AB

Eat Like You Live in Forks

2009-06-18T20:45:00.005-06:00

"I'll have the ravioli."

"Can I eat you?"

So what if vampires don't eat, these Twilight inspired recipes from Food and Wine are amazing.

From the article:

Fettuccine with Mushrooms, Tarragon, and Goat-Cheese Sauce

After saving her life for a second time, Edward Cullen takes Bella Swan to a quiet diner. Anxious for the waitress to leave them alone, Bella orders the first thing she sees on the menu, mushroom ravioli. This quick and easy vegetarian pasta has a delectably rich-tasting sauce that clings to each strand of fettuccine and requires no cooking.

Grilled Strip Steak and Sweet Potato Hash Browns

In Twilight, the teenage heroine Bella Swan transfers to a new high school, where she begins to fall in love with schoolmate Edward Cullen, gets hunted by a blood-thirsty vampire who wants to kill her, an still finds the time to make home-cooked meals for her father Charlie, the chief of police in Forks, Washington. Charlie's a meat-and-potatoes kind of man, so Bella prepares a fast steak and potato meal like the one in this recipe.

Check out all the recipes here.

~SW

Angelic Being's BIO

2009-06-17T21:19:00.004-06:00

Okay, so I am a 29 mother and wife. The whole twilight saga has taken me to a blissful place far from my own reality. That is truely frightening.. I am so obsessed with the lives in this book that I am now a wife on a mission to keep that feeling going. I don't read that often, but when I finally picked these books up it took all I had to put them down. My husband was so good about it. Even when he had to eat microwavable food like corn dogs and burrito's, he didn't complain. The way he saw it was he could have the tv all to his own. He is no Edward, but I love him all the same. I can't believe a series of books could make one person feel the way I do. I am almost embarassed of the way these books control my mind. How silly. IDK!!! I feel that sometimes all of us need a reality escape once in a while. I think I found mine. Forget the alcohol, bring on the twilight saga.

Changes?

2009-06-16T22:29:00.004-06:00

Are the changes okay?
I made the banner myself, so now no one can harrasses for using their images.

~SW

Breaking Dawn, Ghetto Style

2009-06-16T18:39:00.003-06:00

Check it out. QP and I nearly died laughing.

(Got it posted!)

~SW

Bella's Lullaby

2009-06-16T10:57:00.004-06:00

Just thought I would post this. The most beautiful song EVER!!! "QP"

RPattz Under Attack!

2009-06-15T17:37:00.005-06:00

Our very own Robert Pattinson was mobbed by a few crazy fans today while trying to film in NYC! You can find more detailed info and additional pictures, as well as a link to the video at ROBsessed.

Poor Rob...if you're going to get groped by someone, at least you would hope it's a hot girl! Instead, he gets these three chicks:

I mean, how old do you think they are?? The Blue one looks trashy, like a middle-age woman who still tries to buy her clothes in the Juniors section. I'm glad the body guard pinched her! (Don't you think that's what it looks like he's doing?)

Take a look at the next pic...Plaid Chick jumps on Rob's back!

...And he continues to try to smile during the whole thing. Because he's a perfect gentleman!

How irritating! Have these women no respect?? I'm embarrassed for them. Ugh.

...And of course, totally jealous! **Sigh**

-SP

Read It!

2009-06-15T06:53:00.003-06:00

The following links are for pieces of fan fiction. Evidently, there are a lot of people out there even more obsessed then us and can't handle that the books are over, so they write their own stories about the Twilight characters. I was a little reluctant to read anything, because there is some weird stuff out there, but both of these are really good.

This one is an extension of Midnight Sun, all in Edward's perspective. Awesome:http://twilighted.net/viewstory.php?sid=4146&textsize=0&chapter=1

This one is really short, but it's from Jasper's view after he loses Bella at the airport in Phoenix:
http://twilighted.net/viewstory.php?sid=5546

Hope you like them!

~SW

Maybe I Could Hire Him To Walk My Dogs

2009-06-14T17:27:00.003-06:00

Kellan Lutz (aka Emmett) out walking his dog. Lucky dog.

HOT. For lack of a better word.

Enjoy. (I know QP will) ;)

~SW

Shopping Adventures Of Twilight Addicts

2009-06-13T20:30:00.008-06:00

Today, QP and I went to the mall (sans children. Score!) to do a little summer clothes shopping. After being normal and checking out The Gap and Old Navy, we decided to check out...Hot Topic. Why you ask? Because of this front display:

Oh yes, we could not pass this up.

As we snapped the photo above, the sales guy (who was way cooler then us with his black clothes and spiky hair and chains on his jeans) asked us just why we wanted to take a picture of the New Moon display? Without skipping a beat, QP announced "We're obsessed with Twilight." He was kind enough not to laugh at us.

As we cruised the aisles in the midst of punk rocked out teenagers, we gleefully found more Twilight merchandise.

So tempting...a bag that represents true love.

We were tempted to buy the Edward and Bella action figures, but resisted. But then we happened upon the tee shirts. We dove in, looking for Team Edward and Forks High shirts, giggling and getting just a *tad* excited. It was then that it occurred to me that we might be viewed as twidiculous by the other store occupants. I took inventory of how we were dressed. QP was clad in a pink tank top and white plastic sunglasses. I was wearing pearl earrings and khaki pants. We both wore our wedding rings. And to top it all off, we were making noises that were close to squealing over tee shirts. Not your typical Hot Topic shoppers. I started laughing at just how embarrassed I should be by this situation. But I had no time to be embarrassed. I was busy looking for a Twilight tee.

As we went to check out, again I realized that we were a little out of our element. The cashier had a nose ring of the type and size that is usually worn by a bull. He was polite enough to not comment on our purchases.

As we were leaving the store, we began to wonder if perhaps we should of done something in the store to make us more Hot Topic appropriate. Should we have been swearing loudly to prove that we too had what it takes to be punk rock? Should we have pretended to be 16? Claimed we we're buying things for our "niece?" Worn black?

Should we be more embarrassed to be Twilight fans?

Nope. Because look at what we scored:

QP's Shirt.

SW's find.

~SW

The Swan Princess' Bio

2009-06-13T17:53:00.005-06:00

Who would have thought that a simple trip to Barnes and Noble would forever change my life as I knew it? But that’s exactly what happened on that fateful day when I picked up a copy of a YA novel entitled Twilight...

“Why not?” I thought to myself innocently. “The movie previews looked decent.”

As I walked to the counter with my husband to pay, I was a little embarrassed to hand the book to the cashier. Much to my relief, she didn’t seem curious as to why I would be purchasing a novel written for teenagers, and we were soon hurrying to our car with the book tucked safely inside the green plastic bag.

Later that afternoon, I grabbed the book and got comfortable on the couch. It’s a good thing I got comfortable, because I spent the rest of the evening and some of the next day in that spot until I reached the last pages of the novel. As soon as I finished, I got in my car to drive back to the bookstore for the next book. The following week was a whirlwind of sparkling vampires, fast cars, giant wolves, exciting battles, and best of all, eternal love. After that, I just couldn’t get enough. I watched the movie, I looked at the websites, I talked to anyone and everyone that would listen to my obsessive, vampire-filled ramblings.

So began my love affair with Edward Cullen and everything Twilight. My life will never be the same…because now it’s so much better!

Now, there’s a certain person in my life that may not agree I’ve changed for the better. Namely my husband, who seems to have developed a disdain towards gorgeous vampires, clumsy teenage girls, and the town of Forks, WA. Thank goodness I have my dear friends to support and encourage me in these hard times!

-SP

Sinful.

2009-06-13T09:47:00.003-06:00

I am happily married. I am happily married. I am happily married.

Good GOD he is good looking.

~SW

Photo by: savygirl84

DIE JACOB

2009-06-12T21:51:00.001-06:00

Hope you all share these emotions with me!!!
""QP""

Snow White's Bio

2009-06-12T21:48:00.001-06:00

Once upon a time, in a big, shitty city, there was a girl named Snow White. SW thought she had it all-a loving husband, a sweet child, a nice home. But then she read the Twilight Saga and realized how much she was missing. She looked at her husband and started thinking things like "Why don't you sparkle?" and "Why haven't you bought me an island and named it after me?" She looked at her child and thought "Why can't you do back flips while taking down a herd of deer with your bare teeth?" So SW turned to her friends, who were having the same thoughts. And after looking at Twilight related websites, watching the movie over and over and over, and spending hours analyzing if Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart are dating in real life, they started this blog. SW lived happily ever after in her fake reality of a vampire infested world.

Any of you can offer SW a poison apple any day.

~SW

QUEEN PIECE'S BIO:

2009-06-12T21:11:00.003-06:00

**I was just a typical housewife with a loving husband and two adorable children. Life was great.......SO I THOUGHT!

THIS IS HOW IT ALL STARTED:

I had seen the previews for the Twilight movie and thought," Hmm... that looks pretty good. Kinda teeny bopperish but good." I decided it would probably be better just to wait till it came out on DVD. So then came the night.. The kids were tucked in bed and the husband and I decided to watch this, "TWILIGHT". Yes, I know I cheated and watched the movie before I read the books, but OMG either way I was completely and utterly HOOKED.

The next day I called SW and proceeded to tell her how great this movie was. She decided we should start our own little book club. So we got the first book, Had agreed we would only read 3 to 4 chapters a night then discuss the following day. So much for that, I finished that book and ran up to the nearest store to get "NEW MOON" w/o SW. This is how the remaining 2 books went as well. Except I finished "ECLIPSE" in one day.

This is how my TWILIGHT OBSESSION ALL BEGAN and now my life is forever altered. Suddenly my husband isn't as hot as I once thought, and my kids not as gifted. I suddenly have an infatuation/crush on this 17 year old scraggly vampire with way too much hair ( not usually my type) BUT OH HOW BEAUTIFUL!! And I am on a mission for the black Ray Bans. Just to feel as if I carry a piece of him with me. Who cares if they are over priced.

A few times I have stepped out of my Twilight element and realized just how crazy this has all become, But all is good.... I have a fantasy world with Romance, Beautiful Vampires, Lush Living, ETC.... that I can frequently escape to through out the day. My day is just not complete without my "TWILIGHT FIX". It's my HEROIN and I'm an ADDICT!!!!!

""QP""

The Best 53 Seconds Ever.

2009-06-12T20:11:00.000-06:00

My life just got a little brighter. Or should I say sparklier.

Did anyone else just die a little?

Video by VampWhoDoesntSparkle

New Moon Trailer

2009-06-12T20:04:00.000-06:00

November cannot get here f'ing fast enough.

Twilight Trailer: Still Awesome

2009-06-12T20:01:00.000-06:00

Cause what's a Twilight blog without the Twilight Trailer?

And Just What is "Twidiculous"?

2009-06-11T22:37:00.000-06:00

Bear with us as we get this blog up and running.

Until then, here are some ways you can tell if you are Twidiculous.

You might be Twidiculous if....

....you stay up late, searching the Internet for sexy pictures of Robert Pattinson, which then results in you dreaming of your husband cheating on you, and makes you feel as if you deserve it.

....your husband is jealous of a book. Actually, four books.

....your husband threatens to kill Edward Cullen (too bad he can't run that fast).

....you get mad at your husband for falling asleep while watching Twilight (who cares if he's seen it three times this week, he obviously has no regard for your feelings).

.....you get annoyed with girls that are ten years younger then you for being Team Jacob (and if you are reading this and are Team Jacob, two word for you: Go Away.).

....you'll buy any magazine with the idea of a picture of one of the Twilight/New Moon cast members.

....you feel you're depriving your 5 year old child of something truly great by not allowing her to watch Twilight, but your husband insists that it's not a children's movie.

So yeah, these things have actually happened to us. This is what it means to be Twidiculous. More to come....